Double the schmak in half the time – Kentona!

Special circumstances caused us to not record last week, and our first attempt this week was met with horrendous Skype issues. So to get this one out, we recorded at different locations with a different chat program. Take a listen to see how it turned out.

For the record, this is the Jack Roush quote I was trying to find:

“If I was as diligent on that end as I am about finding out why a fuel pump broke, I might have been able to stop it,” Roush said. “From my standpoint, he will be moving to the dark side. But the friendship part for us will survive. I’ve not lost respect for Matt and I hope he hasn’t for me. I’ve enjoyed the 15 years with Matt and the success he’s had as a driver. He is a cornerstone here and his DNA is all over this organization.”

First, eww, second, he says “dark side” – i.e. Toyota, third, he basically says that he pays more attention to a fuel pump than his star driver. Leadership error to go along with his pilot error, I guess.

Anyway, the rest of the podcast is filled with all sorts of stuff – discussion about back problems (Hamlin), drug problems (Allmendinger), cheating problems (Stewart and Dillon), plus the usual schmakery foolery.

Picks for Loudon:

Coach: Jimmie Johnson
Rob: Clint Bowyer

Hittin’ the Road, part I – Sonoma

When news breaks, we are here to schmak it! This week, Kenseth looks to hit the road as he is given his walking papers, Danica gets knocked off the road by Jaques Villenueve (I don’t know and don’t really care to check that spelling), and Clint Bowyer comes from the flat back road to the conquer the twisty hills of Sonoma.

With either good or bad coverage by TNT (depending on your viewpoint), we can all agree that road courses deserve a place on the schedule and are important for overall driver skill. At least, that’s what the schmak crew thinks.

Also, something fishy happened with last week’s picks – listen to find out!

Picks for next week at Kentucky:

Coach: Jimmie Johnson
Rob: Matt “Looking for a ride” Kenseth.

Ugly Yellow Cars at Michigan

This week the schmak looks at a race that was interesting to start, and boring at the end… unless you were one of the thousands of Jr. fans in the stands and watching on TV, going Bat-poop insane. Then it was a mountain dew and volka miracle.

My keyboard is extra noisy this week. Also, I say “road rorse”.

Picks for the road next week:

Coach: Marcos Ambrose

Rob: Tony Stewart

2 Good Races, 1 Good Schmak

Two good races and two good schmaks lead up to this week’s schmak. We talk dirty (Prelude to the Dream) and clean (the new and improved Pocono).

And a few easter eggs at the end.

Picks for next week:

Coach: Matt Kenseth (again. Don’t let me down!)

Rob: Denny “The Hammer” Hamlin

Polka-dots at Dover

Jimmie Johnson wore the Afro-circus polka dotted wig and horrendous paint scheme this week, which proves the point that it doesn’t matter what you look like, it’s what’s under the hood that counts. Life lesson. Learned.

This week’s schmak takes a look at Kurt Busch’s suspension, his probably firing, and James Finch’s 180 degree turn in statements.

When he hired Kurt Busch, he said: “I told Kurt, ‘I won’t fire you, and you won’t quit. We’ll do whatever it takes — roll in the mud if we have to to win.’ ”

This week: “If he’s going to kill himself I’m not going to be in the airplane with him. If that’s what he’s planning on doing, I am going to get out.”

Also, Prelude to the Dream. Ray Evernham! Danica Patrick! Tony Stewart! Ryan Newman! Clint Bowyer! and others!

Picks for Pocono:

Rob: Jeff Gordon

Coach: Jimmie Johnson

Painting a Mustache on the Mona Lisa

Coke 600, schmaked!

Lots of interesting topics – why is Fox so bad? What’s up with Danica? What was up with the paint schemes?

Lots of thought provoking content, and a tease to some articles soon to appear.

Picks for next week at Dover:

Rob: Jimmie Johnson

Coach: AJ Allmendinger

Some Star Race

It seems like this week, the All-Star race generated two kinds of reactions:

1) “Great! Could use some tweaks, but overall was pretty good”

b) “Horrible. Jimmie Johnson stunk up the show, and spent 80% of the show not even racing”

Trachschmak this week was divided along those lines, and delves into what was good, what was bad, and what needs to be changed to make the race better. Kinda like what we’re supposed to do every week.

Ohh, and also, one of the schmakers admits on the air that he is becoming a fan of a certain team again. Also, this same schmaker will be on a boat this coming Memorial weekend, so next week’s schmak may be a bit of work, but it will happen.

Also, this same schmaker won both picks last week, so he got to pick first this week as well.

Picks for Coke 600:

Coach: Jimmie Johnson (boring pick, but most likely to win)

Rob: Matt Kenseth (also influenced by Coach, so he can do no wrong this week).


Recapping a Darlington race most notable for its post-race scuffle, the boys also lament the skype suckiness that lead to the loss of last week’s show, as well as the Fox suckiness that lead to a loss of excitement about Darlington.

Picks from last week:

Rob: Jeff Gordon (35th)

Coach: Carl Edwards (7th)

Picks for the Sprint Showdown

Coach: Martin Truex

Rob: Juan Montoya

Picks for the All-Star Race

Coach: Matt Kenseth (again. Sheesh)

Rob: Kyle Busch (again)

¡Lots ‘o picks!

¡Get ’em while they’re hot!

Tears of Redemption

Our prognostication was in fine form last week, as all but one of our top seeds did well this week.

How will we fare at Talladega? Who knows, it’s a crapshoot.

But more importantly, Trach Schmak takes an superficial in-depth look at the officiating of this week’s race at Richmond.

Picks for next week:

Rob: Clint Bowyer

Coach: Dale Earnhardt Jr.

P.S. Listen to the “bonus” section of the podcast for the source of the title.

Kanstucky 400

Racing was improved from Texas, but as always, the schmak is even better.

Rob finally got one right last week, lets see how next week goes.

Rob picked: Kyle Busch

Coach picked: Denny Hamlin


Ricocheting around Texass

Was it a boring race? Perhaps. But the boys at trachschmak deliver pure entertainment in the latest episode.

Topics include – the new “C” post template, why didn’t we pick “The Biff”, a caution for a hat, and the amazing prognostication that is the weekly schmak picks.

Picks for Kansas / Kentucky (who can tell?)

Coach: Jeff Gordon
Rob: Dale Earnhardt Jr. (for the very first time)

Pure Entertainment

Martinsville (and the squirting hot dogs) is the cure for all that ails NASCAR, and also makes for a pretty good schmak. Lots of topics, including – is Kurt Busch in the best ride he will ever have again? A touch screen that’s actually useful, and that David Reutimann thing. And more. This schmak has everything, including a hot dog section.

Picks for Texas:

Coach: Matt Kenseth (again)

Rob: Carl Edwards (you bastard)


Reminiscent of the horrible Kentucky race last year, Fontana served up an even more boring and worthless race.

This week, TrachSchmak lampoons the race, and then discusses the below average performance of our picks this year.

Picks for next week:

Coach: Denny Hamlin

Rob: Jeff Gordon


Chief Appellate Officer

The Jimmie Johnson penalty has been rescinded, and there was much rejoicing knashing of teeth, if you look at the #NASCAR hashtag on twitter. We at trachschmak, however, have a unique take on this penalty.

Also – explanations of right front vs right rear tire wear include the phrase “driving in deep and hard”. It’s a can’t-miss episode.

Pick for next week:

Coach: Jimmie Johnson

Rob: Matt Kenseth

(Yes, just a swap from last week).



This week’s Schmak is an unusual one – scheduling prevented us from being able to record at the same time. Asynchronous recording FTW!

It was a struggle to not mess with Rob’s recording and pull all sorts of editing pranks, but time and decorum prevented too many shenanigans from taking place.

Next week we plan to get the Schmak back on Trach with live broadcast and recording.

Picks for this week at Bristol:

Rob – Jimmie Johnson

Coach – Matt Kenseth (although I have a sneaking suspicion that the Penske group will do well here as well).


Waltripping to Phoenix

Our take on the ridiculousness that is the Waltrip broadcasting family, and of course the race as well.

Coach’s pick for this week wrecked Rob’s pick, so that’s another one for Coach. Get ready for the wheels to come off, the curse to start, and things to start coming up Rob.

Perhaps starting at Vegas. Our picks:

Coach: Brad Keselowski

Rob: Denny Hamlin

Daytona Fire-hundred

Daytona has been raced, wrecked, burned, and now schmaked!

Monday night race? Was a new precedent set?

How about that explosion?

We were wrong about the Rouschers (especially Biffle), some social media snafus, and more!

Also, picks for next week:

Coach: Carl Edwards

Rob: Ryan Newman

Daytona Picks 2012

With the wonderment of the Gatorade Duels behind us, we schmak our picks for the 2012 Daytona 500.

Rob: Kyle Busch

Coach: Dale Earnhardt Jr.

Going Live!

At long last, Trach Schmak is back

New year, new teams, new format.

Picks for Daytona 500… to come on Friday, after the Duels.

Topics covered in this episode – whats happened since we left, the absence of an eligible Rookie of the Year, Fox broadcast, evil alternate universe Jeff Hammond, and more.

Also, our first experiment with live streaming – the setup caused a bit of delay between the two of us, but we got a live stream out! Now to just make it better and better.

It’s soon to be the first schmak of the year.

Daytona is reverberating with the roar of the engines, getting ready to start the 2012 season. And that means it’s time for another season of trach schmak.

Podcast will be recorded tomorrow, get your podcast feed readers ready.