Ugly Yellow Cars at Michigan

This week the schmak looks at a race that was interesting to start, and boring at the end… unless you were one of the thousands of Jr. fans in the stands and watching on TV, going Bat-poop insane. Then it was a mountain dew and volka miracle.

My keyboard is extra noisy this week. Also, I say “road rorse”.

Picks for the road next week:

Coach: Marcos Ambrose

Rob: Tony Stewart

Polka-dots at Dover

Jimmie Johnson wore the Afro-circus polka dotted wig and horrendous paint scheme this week, which proves the point that it doesn’t matter what you look like, it’s what’s under the hood that counts. Life lesson. Learned.

This week’s schmak takes a look at Kurt Busch’s suspension, his probably firing, and James Finch’s 180 degree turn in statements.

When he hired Kurt Busch, he said: “I told Kurt, ‘I won’t fire you, and you won’t quit. We’ll do whatever it takes — roll in the mud if we have to to win.’ ”

This week: “If he’s going to kill himself I’m not going to be in the airplane with him. If that’s what he’s planning on doing, I am going to get out.”

Also, Prelude to the Dream. Ray Evernham! Danica Patrick! Tony Stewart! Ryan Newman! Clint Bowyer! and others!

Picks for Pocono:

Rob: Jeff Gordon

Coach: Jimmie Johnson

Skypetastic

Recapping a Darlington race most notable for its post-race scuffle, the boys also lament the skype suckiness that lead to the loss of last week’s show, as well as the Fox suckiness that lead to a loss of excitement about Darlington.

Picks from last week:

Rob: Jeff Gordon (35th)

Coach: Carl Edwards (7th)

Picks for the Sprint Showdown

Coach: Martin Truex

Rob: Juan Montoya

Picks for the All-Star Race

Coach: Matt Kenseth (again. Sheesh)

Rob: Kyle Busch (again)

¡Lots ‘o picks!

¡Get ’em while they’re hot!

Tears of Redemption

Our prognostication was in fine form last week, as all but one of our top seeds did well this week.

How will we fare at Talladega? Who knows, it’s a crapshoot.

But more importantly, Trach Schmak takes an superficial in-depth look at the officiating of this week’s race at Richmond.

Picks for next week:

Rob: Clint Bowyer

Coach: Dale Earnhardt Jr.

P.S. Listen to the “bonus” section of the podcast for the source of the title.

Kanstucky 400

Racing was improved from Texas, but as always, the schmak is even better.

Rob finally got one right last week, lets see how next week goes.

Rob picked: Kyle Busch

Coach picked: Denny Hamlin

 

Ricocheting around Texass

Was it a boring race? Perhaps. But the boys at trachschmak deliver pure entertainment in the latest episode.

Topics include – the new “C” post template, why didn’t we pick “The Biff”, a caution for a hat, and the amazing prognostication that is the weekly schmak picks.

Picks for Kansas / Kentucky (who can tell?)

Coach: Jeff Gordon
Rob: Dale Earnhardt Jr. (for the very first time)

Pure Entertainment

Martinsville (and the squirting hot dogs) is the cure for all that ails NASCAR, and also makes for a pretty good schmak. Lots of topics, including – is Kurt Busch in the best ride he will ever have again? A touch screen that’s actually useful, and that David Reutimann thing. And more. This schmak has everything, including a hot dog section.

Picks for Texas:

Coach: Matt Kenseth (again)

Rob: Carl Edwards (you bastard)

Chief Appellate Officer

The Jimmie Johnson penalty has been rescinded, and there was much rejoicing knashing of teeth, if you look at the #NASCAR hashtag on twitter. We at trachschmak, however, have a unique take on this penalty.

Also – explanations of right front vs right rear tire wear include the phrase “driving in deep and hard”. It’s a can’t-miss episode.

Pick for next week:

Coach: Jimmie Johnson

Rob: Matt Kenseth

(Yes, just a swap from last week).

 

Daytona Fire-hundred

Daytona has been raced, wrecked, burned, and now schmaked!

Monday night race? Was a new precedent set?

How about that explosion?

We were wrong about the Rouschers (especially Biffle), some social media snafus, and more!

Also, picks for next week:

Coach: Carl Edwards

Rob: Ryan Newman