Absolute Perfection – Martinsville

A spectacular race deserves a spectacular schmak! Instead, we offer this week’s schmak, dealing with such issues as the Kevin Harvick and Richard Childress remarks, the racing, and of course, the schmak t-shirt party, now scheduled for Sunday, Nov. 17th, at Cronies Sports Grill!

Picks for next week at Texas:

Coach: Kyle Busch
Rob: Dale Jr.

Covering 101 Damnations at Talladega

This week we cover the news of the Air Titan’s palns for 2014, Todd Parrot’s parties of 2013, Elephant hunting parties of 2012 (and Go Daddy “commitments”), and a whole lot of stuff.

Also, the boring race with the bored announcers allowed us to produce one of the best ever episodes of the schmak.

Picks for Martinsville 2:

Coach: Jeff Gordon

Rob: Kyle Busch

Keepin’ up with the Schmakers at Charlotte

Happy 100th episode y’all!

We celebrate like we started – late, drunk, and mostly off-topic.

This episode has everything – songs, rants, and all sorts of late night hilarity.

Picks for next week at Talladega:

Coach: Jamie McMurray
Rob: Matt Kenseth

Sophisticated Multi-Zone Dual Compound Podcast – at Kansas

This week we take on the race at Kansas, and schmak a bunch of news, including the Kvapil wife-beating incident.

Picks for next week at Charlotte:

Coach: Kevin Harvick
Rob: Kurt Busch

Continuing to Cheapen the Coverage at Dover

This week we ask the question that everyone should be asking – has there been any improvement to the TV coverage since 2001?

Also, we schmak the race, the championship, and the alternate reality elimination championship.

Picks for next week:

Coach: Clint Bowyer
Rob: Martin Truex Jr.

Hold on to your sponsors! New Hampshire edition.

This week we schmak about all things chase, sponsorship, New Hampshire race, you know, all the things that there are to schmak about.

Picks for next week:
Rob: Jeff Gordon
Coach: Jimmie Johnson

Our picks for the championship are currently 1-2 in the standings, and another chase driver has been erased in disgrace from our Alternate Race in the Chase.

For those playing the home game, we take the lowest finishing chase driver and eliminate him from the competition, which will leave us with 4 drivers competing for the title at Homestead (would have been 3 without the extra chaser).

After the second race in the chase, we have the following drivers still in the chase:

Matt Kenseth
Jimmie Johnson
Kyle Busch
Kevin Harvick
Carl Edwards
Greg Biffle
Clint Bowyer
Dale Earnheardt Jr.
Kurt Busch
Ryan Newman
Jeff Gordon

Elminated so far:
Joey Logano (eliminated race 1 – Chicagoland)
Kasey Kahne (eliminated race 2 – New Hampshire)

Celebrating the Road Course at Watkins Glen

This week, we celebrate the racing that is always exciting at a road course, talk about Max Papis and his successful subbing, Kyle Busch, and his dangerous celebrating, and a whole lot in between.

Picks for Michigan:
Coach: Dale Jr. (again)
Rob: Martin Truex Jr.

Shattered bone, insults thrown, Pocono is done.

We cover the news of Tony Stewarts broken leg, Kyle Petty and Denny Hamlin’s war of words, and the race that was Pocono (again).

Picks for next week:

Rob: Jeff Gordon
Coach: Marcos Ambrose

Kissing the bricks, launching a Tee, and clarifying comments

This week is a big show, starting with our teespring t-shirt launch, follow up from the New Hampshire spotter controversy, Indy review, TV review, the future NBC TV deal, and more.

Picks for next week at Pocono:

Rob: Dale Earnhardt Jr.
Coach: Joey Logano

Combined Schmaking – Day Hampshire

This week’s schmak is a little delayed due to travel and summer and whatnot, but we couldn’t leave you without a schmak for more than two weeks, so here it is, Daytona (boring, about 5 mins of schmak) and New Hampshire (awesome, the rest of the schmak).

Note – originally, we had some discussion about the 51 car radio transmissions, but since we recorded last week, we’ve had responses from one of the spotters involved, which changed the whole discussion around. So I’ve edited all discussion of that issue out of this week’s podcast.

Picks for next week:

Coach: Jeff Gordon
Rob: Jimmie Johnson

A Very Petty Kelly Green Kentucky

This week’s schmak takes a look at Kyle Petty’s inflamatory remarks about Danica not being a racer, and at the few things that happened at Kentucky.

Picks for next week:

Rob: Matt Kenseth
Coach: Clint Bowyer

Road Course Rambunctiousness

We are fans of the road course, and thought that this week was a good week.

Although we do take TNT to task for a few things, and talk about the various drivers and tribulations and trying to follow what was actually happening. Good race, could be better, TNT.

Picks for Kentucky next week:

Coach: Kasey Kahne
Rob: Jimmie Johnson

Trouble for Hendrick at Michigan

Race in review – sheesh, what happened to Hendrick motorsports? Where did the Biff come from? How did commercials factor into the race coverage? Some of these questions are answered in this week’s trackschmak.

Picks for next week (road course!)

Rob: Clint Bowyer
Coach: Kurt Busch

Party Pooper in the Poconos

It’s here!

Almost two days earlier than last week.

A pretty boring race, but TNT made it somewhat bearable.

Picks for next week:

Coach: Dale Jr.
Rob: Greg Biffle.

All-Star Schmak Showdown Schmegegge

We schmak the showdown, the All-star race, and posit some opinions about how to improve this next year (hint – it’s not switching venues to Las Vegas).

Picks for the 600:

Coach: Kasey Kahne (again)

Rob: Jimmie Johnson

Wrong way joystick cranking at Darlington

Join us for our 82nd(!) episode of the schmak.

Lots of awesome schmak silliness, including the gyro cam sham, Darlington’s boring opening laps, the racing that broke out near the end, and a fantastic preview of the All-Star race next week. Do you have a question about the All-Star format? Eligibility for the race? It’s all here in the latest schmak.

Picks for the Sprint Open race:

Coach: Jamie McMurray
Rob: Martin Truex Jr.

Picks for the All-Star race:

Coach: Kasey Kahne
Rob: Clint Bowyer

Live Schmak – Wednesday at 6:45

We will be doing a live schmak on Wednesday, 6:45 pm Pacific Time.

Join us here:

The url will be live at 6:45 pm on Wednesday.

Weird Stuff in Richmond

This week, we schmak all things Richmond.

Penalties, tires, sprinkler malfunctions, it’s all here in the weekly Schmak of record.

Picks for next week at Talladega:

Coach: Dale Jr.

Rob: Cousin Carl Edwards

Mark Martin to the 11 – screw you MWR?

Mark Martin will be subbing for Denny Hamlin in the #11 Joe Gibbs Racing Toyota.

He was not scheduled to be in the MWR #55 car at Martinsville, but he was supposed to be in the #55 in the following three events at Texas, Kansas, and Richmond.

Does this mean more seat time for Brian Vickers? More for Michael Waltrip? It’s like a semi-silly season already.

UPDATE: This probably explains it a bit better:

MWR, according to sources, would like to keep Vickers in the 55 for as much as possible because he is the likely replacement for Martin next season.

Twisted Knickers at Bristol

It was a greaaaat day for some greaaaat racing in the hills of Tennessee. But the schmakers still found some stuff to schmak about.

Restarts – is NASCAR just sort of letting them happen now?

Keselowski – only driver to finish in top 5 each race so far.

Dale Jr. – only other driver to finish top 10 in each race so far.

Why I haven’t picked Khane this season so far.

And of course the Denny vs. Joey thing.

Shortlist for next week at Fontucky:
Kyle Busch
Jimmie Johnson
Brad Keselowski
Dale Earnhardt Jr.
Kevin Harvick or Matt Kenseth

Watch the finish to the 2011 race – pretty darn good.

Picks for Fontucky:

Coach: Kyle Busch

Rob: Dale Jr.